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Separate Reality
Wednesday December 13, 2006
Friday December 8, 2006
 DR. PHIL: The problem we
have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS"
side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before adding
"NEW" problems.
 OPRAH: Well I
understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.
 GEORGE W BUSH: We don't
really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
 COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road...
 ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
 JOHN KERRY: Although I
voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I
was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
 NANCY GRACE: That
chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
 PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
 MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at
the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.
 DR SEUSS: Did the
chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
crossed I've not been told.
 ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.
 JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road.
It's as plain and simple as that!
 GRANDPA: In my day we
didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
that was good enough.
 BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went
on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
 JOHN LENNON: Imagine
all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
 ARISTOTLE: It is the
nature of chickens to cross the road.
 BILL GATES: I have
just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your check book.
 ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
 BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?
 AL GORE: I invented
the chicken!
 COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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So, we heard their answers... what is your take on
this?
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Sunday November 26, 2006
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It goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that
might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
 Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
 AndK-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
 But,A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
 B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
 AND, look how far Ass Kissing will take you.A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
 So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top. | | | | |
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Wednesday November 1, 2006
In dreams I yearn to come to you
in a cricket's spirit.
In this endless autumn night
I'll spring into your darkened room,
wake you from your singular sleep,
and murmur of my longing.
Korean Sijo
by Pak Hyogwan
(1781 - 1880)
Note: Sijo is a modern term for a Korean style of lyrical poetry, originally called tanga (literally, "short song"). The sijo strongly resembles Japanese haiku in having a strong foundation in nature in a short profound structure. Bucolic, metaphysical and astronomical themes are often explored. The lines average 14-16 syllables, for a total of 44-46. There is a pause in the middle of each line, so in English they are sometimes printed in six lines instead of three. | | | |
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Monday October 16, 2006
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
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Have you checked out the
new Blogstream site,
Question Stream.com?
Many Blogstream members are there
already! Quotes from members: "It's like blog lite!" -- "I like the instant
gratification!" -- "Stop spectating, get in the game!"
If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
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May your holiday be filled
